Monday, 27 December 2010
We all have different perspectives on things.
Compromise is an essential if you are to make healthy relationships.
Our daughter, Naomi, got engaged yesterday. Great news and lots of unforeseen - extra - celebrations! She has been with her partner, Colin, for just over a year but it was clear from day one that they were highly compatible. Next year they will move to the States to live so maybe an engagement was inevitable - but not necessarily.
But what's that got to do with seeing things differently?
We've now met Colin's parent twice, once in the summer and then again yesterday to toast the ecstatic couple. The conversation was focused mainly on "all things wedding"! There's was a throwaway remark that made me wonder whether it was said seriously or if it was in jest.
"Promise me you won't get married in one of those little Las Vegas chapels of lurve"
Personally I think that's quite a fun idea. A friend's son actually did that with Elvis as the celebrant! Their photos were so different! But there were people who were deeply upset.
One of the hardest things about being a parent is allowing your child to gradually "do it their way". To give them the security of safe boundaries in which to make their own choices.
However, when you start to share your life with another the need to compromise, to work out who is going to give and who will take, on each decision is so important.
Planning a wedding is a crash course in all that and more! It's not just the couple who have to learn to give and take, to compromise and concede... it's also the families...